It`s NOT a post about the US-series which is quite popular by some of us…

It IS about modern women who a often torn between their familiy life, household and career. It sounds like another popular topic but I think I can talk about it now more sensitive and analyzing `cause I`m feeling stuck in this dilemma right now. So this is what I`m worried about. I want to pick out just some main subjects to talk about here:

1. Why the technological progress doesn`t really help in the household?

2. Ideas about priorities in modern family-life and a differing reality

It took me some time to realize that a hoover, a washing machine, a dish washer, a microwave and several other household appliances are indeed helpful with our housework, BUT do not really save time at all!! All day long women are operating all those machines knowing about their technical efficiency and asking themselves how our grandmothers could survive without it. At the same time our grandmothers are a remembering the times when they had to do the household with their bare hands and wondering why modern housewives are still complaining about the masses of work they have to do at home. So why? Are we just getting lazy? Are our grandmothers hero’s of housework?

Their next reproach is our reluctance to get just one child instead of  3 or even more! So we often hear our grandma saying:”When I was as young as you are (certainly already married), I had already 5 children and I never complained…!S0, don`t make such a fuss about it!” Are we incapable to get on with just one kid? Are we just too selfish, thinking only about our freedom and self-realization?

I think the main reason for our (women) excessiveve demands is the ongoing individualization in our society and the feminism paradigm which are just pushing us more and more into the dilemma I`ve described above! Telling about their “heroic deeds” our grandmas forget to tell us about the task sharing and the strong family bonds in the past. No woman or mother of  5 children had to wash, cook, clean up, shopping foods, watch her kids and doing homework with them, being perfectly styled and having a part time job at once!!! It`s just impossible! Extended families have been sharing the different responsibilities. Everybody has been conscious of  her/his work to do. Grandma`s have been cooking and caring about children all day long, while the younger women (not just one person) of the family did all the homework and the men earned the money. I know,  this paradigm is not popular in our modern society but at the same time it`s also not realistic to burden women with all those work! When do Men realize it and don`t ask questions like “What do you do all day long sitting here at home?”, when do Women realize that its no sign of weakness to ask for help and when do Families realize that solidarity and family bonds are essential and necessary to keep it going? Unfortunately women in modern society are often very alone with their tasks and kids, families are at odds with each other, partnerships are unstable and patchwork families are normal.

The pressure on women is growing enormously especially in terms of decision for or against starting a family, being a good housewife or wife and growing up children. Many of us have serious doubts if they have to “give up” themselves for a new life full of problems. Indeed it is quite hard to have the heart to start this new part of life but I think it`s also a new chance for Your family to be awake of those values I talked above. A new family must not to repeat the faults of unrealistic (modern) ideologies or outdated advices of parents. Rather, it is in your hands (women and also men) to brake up our desperation!

Probably it`s just an unreachable dream to have the ambition to stay together forever? Probably it is not that important to marry him/her and to have children with this person? Dosn`t the image of a dream-girl/boy disappear after a while  melting away in the everyday life? Certainly, everybody of us has already thought about those questions but didn`t always find an answer…

Time can probably show you the right answers for all these questions but sometimes the overwhelming energy of the feelings is much more stronger and impatient than rationality. You are just bewitched! You are in Love!

The Ways of Love are unpredictable and sometimes enormously complicated! Still, to love and to be loved is the most satisfying feeling at all! The experience of the eternal and unique feeling, independant from circumstances, culture or social bondings, is worth it to be at Love`s mercy (if only for a short time) !

This Post is dedicated to a friend & collegue…

Change of scenery:

Some years ago in the west-Siberian city Omsk a political movement for children “Medwezhata Rossii” (Russians teddy-bears), initiated by Putin`s “Edinaja Rossija”, was born. Children from the age of 7 can join this political organisation (and they really do)!!! The ceremony takes place right after the school enrollment in a couple of elementary schools in Omsk and vicinity. First the older “Teddy Bears” (who are in the 4th already) make a speech about their party, then the little ones perform a dance with party flags, accompanied by the song “In the knowledge is the power-as the “Edinaja Rossija” says! ” (rhymes in Russian : Ведь в знании — наша сила, как говорит «Единая Россия»). Closing the ceremony the hymn of the Russian Federation is played. The number of party members steadily increased in the last two years.

Is it destiny that about three years after the formation of the children organisation “Medwezhata Rossii” the next president`s name is Medwedew?!!! It`s crazy, isn`t it?? Did they actually know it? Anyway, the party office “Edinaja Rossija” in Omsk calls it a GAME! Although any types of political GAMES are forbidden by law since 1991, no official monitoring authority makes sure that no rebirth of “Pioneers” or “Comsomol” takes place.

The new generation of men is reading style magazin`s, buying anti-age creams, shopping with the best friend and join a Sports&Wellness Studio. How comes? Is it normal?

Of course it`s the effect of the marketing strategy of the cosmetics and textile industry as well. But women played a much more decisive role then it might seem! Yes, women helped to rediscover the Men`s Beauty, which had been lost during the centuries!

The Beauty of men and women had a prominent rank in the ancient world. The Greeks idolized the mental as well as the physical beauty. Their bathing rituals for example contained, besides a solid epillation, body massages, vapour-baths and a cosmetics care afterwards. Usually men went to a Therme to meet friends and business partner. By now Today`s men are very similar to the old Greek men … Some of them already caught up with women in terms of style and looks! Sometimes I feel really uncomfortable if a (hetero) good looking man with twitched eyeborows is sniffing new perfumes at a perfumery! But haven`t it been the women who nagged about their untended men over years and years? “You don`t have any taste at anything! You look disastrous! Go and shave your face! Cut your hair! Is it your single T-Shirt (trousers, shoes, shorts…) ?!!!” I think every women can identify with it!

But now look! The New Generation of modern Men starts a counterstrike against all these accusations and prejudices! They are shaving away every body hair, pre-dating their hair-dresser appointments, reading style-magazines to catch up with the new spring-collection and even visiting cooking courses to please their girl-friend (wife)!

Actually women should be satisfied by now and be happy with their perfect styled men! Sorry guys – as for me, I miss sometimes your masculine flavour, your uncumbed long hair and you confused glance in a clothes store! I don`t mind if you stay as you are!

Man is man!